Celebrity Death Pool 2010: The picks that matter

Last year, a few friends including myself took part in our first ever "celebrity death pool." The concept is to have a draft in which each participant picks 10 celebrities or notable persons they think will die that year (points are computed by subtracting the celebrity's age from 100). Unfortunately, our pool only lasted six months compared to the year it usually takes to complete a death pool, so the historic year in celebrity deaths did not really effect the outcome - I think Bea Arthur's death won it!

But since a new year is upon us, and last year was such a historic year in celebrity deaths, I decided to leave you with a list of crazed-celebrities/politicians I would like to see kick the bucket in 2010. Please don't take this the wrong way, as I don't wish to harm these people myself, but if the good lord (or Satan) could just give them a little help getting to the other side, it might make the world a better place in 2010.

1. Dick Cheney (32 points)

No body and I mean NO BODY has been a bigger menace to unity, truth and security in the U.S. over the past year than Dick Cheney. The former vice president who tortured us (no pun intended) with his unconstitutional policies for eight years, just wouldn't seem to go away as he criticized the new president on every move he made and set himself up to look like the "I told you so" guy if a terrorist attack is to occur on American soil. Since it doesn't seem like Cheney is going to shut-up and go away any time soon, not to mention he has suffered multiple heart failures over the years, I have listed him as my number one person to DIE in 2010.

2. Osama Bin Laden (48 points)

While I think many Americans have their doubts that we will ever catch the man responsible for the attacks of 9/11, he is still a symbol for all those terrorists out there who wish us harm, not to mention he is one of the final pieces in the puzzle in terms of us avenging the 3,000 people who died in the World Trade Center attacks. Here is to finally catching and killing the swine if he is not already dead.

3. Rush Limbaugh (42 points)

He went into the Hospital with chest pains today (Dec. 31, 2009), but it appears he is stable so we might have to wait a little longer for old Rushy-boy to drop dead. Sure he is entertaining, but it is hard to root for a guy that doesn't even root for his own country to succeed. The failure of Barack Obama means the failure of us all, so with that said, Rush Limbaugh, and his unpatriotic rhetoric needs to disappear once and for all in 2010.

4. Glenn Beck (55 points)

I don't think my choice here needs much explaining as Glenn Beck's sanity comes more and more into question each time he takes the air to host his talk show on FOX. I don't know if he should just drop dead or be carted off in a straight jacket, but either would work. Hell, maybe he already escaped from a mental institution and has been fooling network executives and the idiots who actually listen to him ever since - kind of like Ray Finkle's character in "Ace Ventura." Seriously, has anyone done a background check on this nutjob. Either way, something has to be done about Glenn Beck, so either he needs to get fired, admitted to an insane asylum or drop dead in 2010 - which ever comes first!

5. Joe Lieberman (33 points)

Forget Benedict Arnold, Joe Lieberman is the ultimate trader in America today. Over the past year, the former life-long Democrat, and current Independent Senator from Connecticut, has been making liberals lives a living hell - and to think this guy was a few hanging chads away from being vice president a decade ago. Since that time he has supported the war-monger, John McCain, during last year's presidential election, encouraged our nation's participation in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, tried to stop health-care for all - and while he was not completely successful, he was successful at killing the public option - and has called out the president on preemptively striking Yemen, when the president had already begun bombing the country weeks before the most recent attempted terrorist plot. While he is not the most conservative Democrat in the Senate, he is the biggest asshole. And that is why if something terrible were to happen to Joe Lieberman in 2010, all of our lives on the left would become just a little bit better.

6. Dick Army (31 points)

We all thought Dick Army had disappeared from the political spectrum once and for all, but like all good things it didn't last as Army has reemerged as possibly a bigger nuisance to liberal ideals after forming the so-called "Tea Party Movement" earlier this year. These morons are most notable for their disruption of Town Hall Meetings dealing with health care earlier this year. While Army has been successful in starting a new movement - like it or not - he has also been even more successful at using the movement to make more than $800,000 for his company, Freedom Works, that sponsors Tea Party events. So here is to stopping big government and Dick Army's money making schemes once and for all.

7. Sean Hannity (52 points)

Sean Hannity could be the biggest asshole on television. While he might not be as crazy on the surface as Glenn Beck, it is hard to deny that this guy is the king of all right-wing douchebags. Plus, he is a so obsessed with Sarah Palin, I could hear his hand pounding against the table as he beat one out to the former governor of Alaska in a recent interview.

8. Michele Bachmann (47 points)

If any one is as crazy as Glenn Beck it has to be Michele Bachmann. Not only did this nutjob want an expose on who is patriotic and who is not patriotic in Congress during the 2008 elections, she has continued her crazy rhetoric, blaming everyone but herself for exploiting the insane comments she has made concerning government over the last year - maybe the expose on patriotism should be focused on Bachmann. Not only has her words frightened us all, Bachmann has also become a devout member of the Tea Party Movement. If you think Sarah Palin is crazy, wait until you meet Michelle Bachmann.

9. Kim Jong Il (32 points)

He might be dead, he might not be dead. It has been a myth that has surrounded Kim Jong Il for years and has made celebrity death pool particapants leary about picking him. But since he is a man that continues to mystify death pool participants, not to mention his pursuit of nuclear arms, I just could not in good faith leave Kim Jong Il off this list.

10. Karl Rove (41 points)

I have been hoping this little turd blossom would drop dead since he managed to get George W. Bush elected eight years ago and not much has changed.

Thanks for reading my choice for celebrity deaths in 2010. If this list happens to freak you out, just remember the cardinal rule of celebrity death pool: "they're not real people, they're celebrities."